KNOW YOUR UNIX SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR
-- A FIELD GUIDE


There are four major species of Unix sysad:



HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR:


SITUATION: Low disk space.


SITUATION: Excessive CPU usage.




SITUATION: New account creation.




SITUATION: Root disk fails.




SITUATION: Poor network response.




SITUATION: User questions.




SITUATION: *Stupid* user questions.




SITUATION: Process accounting management.




SITUATION: Religious war, BSD vs. System V.




SITUATION: Religious war, System V vs. AIX




SITUATION: Balky printer daemons.




SITUATION: OS upgrade.




SITUATION: Balky mail.




SITUATION: Users want phone list application.





OTHER GUIDELINES:



TYPICAL ROOT .cshrc FILE:




HOBBIES, TECHNICAL:




HOBBIES, NONTECHNICAL:




1992 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:




1996 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:


  • TECHNICAL THUG: Richard Stallman - Larry Wall.

  • ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Nixon - Buchanan.

  • MANIAC: Frank Zappa.

  • IDIOT: Quayle.



    COMPOUND SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS:





    Author unknown, formerly posted in 'comp.sys.unix'